Chapter 5 OMG!!

Normally I only talk about the past but I got to tell you something about the present I met a girl and she is amazing I saw her Sunday and we chilled with a friend of Hers and we kissed but i never had such much feeling with a kiss is this the girl ive been waiting for? I think so I hope it will be something she wants to do it slowly and I understand her choice

If she reads this

I love u


Chapter 4 light in hell

My mother got a boyfriend and he was Nice but after a few months they broke up because his children didn’t like us. So a couple weeks later she had this friend and he was a jerk he thought he was the best but believe me he wasn’t. He would break cd disks to show to me that he was very strong. This relation didn’t work that well and soon after having one they broke up. If you ask me I think the reason is: that my mother saw what an ass he was. So yeah that was over.

I went to my grandma and my grandma had a tia and that really made her forget. She couldn’t understand things that good anymore. I stayed with my grandma and what I and my grandma is watching tv most of the time it were children programs and we always did a game called rummicub. She loved that game and she liked to puzzle but I couldn’t help with that I didn’t undetstand puzzle from over a 1000 pieces. I liked to build a domino track but I always got mad at my grandma because her hands shake to much and then the domino track would fall. But my grandma had a hard but nice life my mother to. My mother lost her father when she was 3 because of heart problems . On this day still she always wanted to no more of him. I wanted that to because my grandpa is watching over me I know for sure. My grandma is a woman who like the rest of the family wouldn’t complain when she had pain she wouldn’t let that notice. She had breast cancer and lost one breast. But she still kept on going. Her names were grandma, miet, Mama miet and mother but her real name was Maria. But nobody called her like that. for my Chinese and Greek family it was Mama miet for me it was grandma and for my mother it was mother. Every Wednesday the hole family would come to my favourite aunt and uncle she would have coffee and coockies. And for the lunch. My aunt cooked for 20 people when 2 people stayed to eat so there would be bread and hotdogs and meat and chicken. That was my Wednesday.


Ive got this feeling in my head.

IT is filled with birds and flowers.

When I feel sad I just imagine that place.

But every time I wake up!

And in this world there are not only birds and flowers.

There are also problems war and hunger

So think about that instead of the imaginary place.

A cup

My feelings today are strange.

I feel alive but I think different.

I don’t care what anyone says.

See it as a cup.

You have to fill the cup before it can be full.

But would you fill the cup with something you don’t like?

So fill the cup with your favourite things.

In life it’s the same.

Fill your life with people you want to share it with.

Not with the people who think they can kick you into the ground.

That people throw them in the trash.

Because that is were they belong

The sound of life


I feel different today.

I don’t hear any wind.

No birds singing towards me.

No sound at all.

I stand up and go downstairs.

I open up the back door and step into the yard.

I feel and hear the wind.

The birds are waiting to sing for me.

It’s the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.

The sound of life is getting back in my head.

Chapter 3 No chance

I was just in my new house when we had trouble. My father would come to our new home and would threaten us with the most horrible things you can imagine. My mother’s bedroom was on the main site of the house I always slept by my mother in the bed because I had a trauma when I was little so i didn’t sleep alone. My father would scream I would wake up and my mother was scared I was scared, but could I help her? No at the age of 5 you can’t help her. The only thing I could do is hope he would leave us alone. I was so scared but that was not all of it he didn’t just threaten us. My father threatened my grandma my godmother my cousin. I have to be honest I didn’t knew this until a couple of years back. My cousin he was at the time 17 I think he was always calm never get mad or nothing. Trough the years he learned me anger is not always the solution, but when my father threatened my grandma he was wild. He said and I quote “the next time I’ll run him over”. Now I no he just said it out of anger but I never saw him that mad. He was always calm and never said I’m going to hurt someone. I was almost 6 and I still went to my father until I had enough I could not go anymore. The only thing he would do was be said and saying my mother was the problem that she was a whore. I was done with that so I said to my mother crying in tears I don’t want to go anymore. My mother always said and still says if this is your choice you gotta do it but be sure about it. So I stopped seeing my dad and never visited him again. There was “no chance” I would ever go back there.

chapter 2 a different way

My mother and I moved out of my mother and fathers house we moved to my grandma who lived in the north of my country. I always loved to go there especially when it was Christmas then she had this Rudolph the red nosed reindeer hanging on the door and every time you opened the door it talked and that was for me just the magical spirit that I needed. my hobby’s when I was little were watching cartoons singing ( only then I couldn’t sing) and magic. I used my grandma as my assistant I put a blanket it smelled like dogs but trough it al she always played along and then I would say she is disappearing and my mom said wow where is she and then I thought I really made her disappear. my birthday was in November and I remember that first was my birthday then I live in Holland so we had sinterklaas so I got presents again than it would be almost Christmas and I remember that I cried because I didn’t want to open any presents anymore. In the weekends I would go to my father i did that with doubts but first I always went he had this new girlfriend that woman was let me say this my aunt and uncle my favourite ones the were like grandparents to me .the uncle had a sister who couldn’t take care of her children so my uncle went there and get them and one of the children a girl was the new girl friend from my dad .that made me mad I got angry if my mother asked for stuff she still had laying their she get I back used or broken. And after a few months my mother found a new home but did I want to leave at my grandma. I don’t know every morning I would get in the bed when I was awake just to lay next to her and then I would pass on to my godmother who was 20 at the time I would lay in her bed to with her but I didn’t like that because I always said her breath smelled like broccoli in the morning. when I went downstairs my grandma always had a cup of tea with much much milk and two crackers with cheese that was for me a kings meal then so I didn’t know if I wanted to leave but we did. Through the week I went to my aunt and uncle and my grandma but every time I went to my aunt and uncle my uncle would open the door I would ran trough the hole between his legs run in to the living room and drink his coffee as fast as I could. I don’t know I just did that but the reason why is that my aunt and uncle drank it with 3spoons of sugar and lots of milk so that’s why I liked it. my uncle was my favourite I loved him and I still love him. And that’s the thing that still hunts me my love for my aunt and uncle

the life of me chapter one

Hi my name is riley im new on WordPress.

I could describe my life as hard as hell. I was born in 2000 my mother and my father were then amazing I thought how older I got how more I began to understand what piece of sh*t my father was he didnt pay for anything he didn’t work and he was an ass he screamed at me he would curse and when he got mad he would show his power by breaking stuff. One explanation of this is when I was three (and I remember this as yesterday) we were having dinner spaghetti and my mom did something wrong that got him mad he took the plate and smashed it against the wall my mom got mad I started cry my mother started crying and from that moment the atmosphere at home it changed my parents would have arguments all day but my mother always stayed calm when I was with them, My father? No he would scream harder swear harder on my 4th I knew words that children don’t know till their at least 8. When I just turned 5 my mother decided to leave and every day I still thank got that she took me with her so that was a chapter I wanted to forget but I couldn’t


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